I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
