that's an acceptable place to lick
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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