He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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