apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
