you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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