You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
