So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
