Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
