I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
