You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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