Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
