the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
