We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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