Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I think your dad took our porno
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
