everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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