I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
