you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
