I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
