We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
