i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
