You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
