the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
