Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
