What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
