I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
be right there i have to get my cape
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
i now understand why vodka
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
