First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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