You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
i believe in u and ur pee
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
