So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
