Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
