I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
