I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
