dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize