I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
