My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
