The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
A bitchslap is in order.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
