am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
