Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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