is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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