The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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