I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
