he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
