So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Randomize
