HIV tests are more positive than that guy
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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