i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
