I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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