I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
