I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
