Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
