i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
