we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
