I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
