Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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