I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
