After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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