He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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