her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize