Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
