I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
