I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
