worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i think i have herpe
just one?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
