I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I puked a lego.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
