I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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