Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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