you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize